And She Thinks
by Lelila Solo
Summary: Castrophe, what else is to be expected in the lives of our famous duo?
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, wow I've been dormant for awhile now. I found this just now, and did a little editting, though it's probably not all fixed. I decided that I needed to get my creative juices flowing if I'm going to get any work done this summer on my masterpiece that's already taken over a year.

Enjoy

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She stared out the window, bereft and in pain. Tears silently glided down her cheeks as she watched the bustling traffic pass by in the bright gleam of nightlife. The ties of her dress hung limply by her legs, the red dress itself following suit and loosely clinging to her frame as she leaned against the wall, white curtains blowing gently against her face. A few strands of dark auburn hair blew with them in sharp contrast, having escaped from their hold in the bun on top of her head.

The Imperial Palace was lighting up the sky while air traffic controllers worked tirelessly to quell the flames. This was the fourth attack in three years. There were times where she wished they hadn't defeated the Empire. Life had been so much simpler organizing a war effort than it was trying to rebuild the world that was destroyed by it. Especially with the Empire still out there, now only just reduced to a handful of planets and even less Star Destroyers. And they seemed just as determined to take down the New Republic as the Rebellion had been determined to take down them.

He stood in the doorway, casting a long shadow in the light that seeped in from outside, watching her stare out the window, as she did many times when she was upset. A sad smiled crept across his face. She was so beautiful, but she was in so much pain. The world she had worked so hard to rebuild was being destroyed around her. From within and without, she was caught in the middle as power play after power play after power play unfolded in front of her and those she considered friends and confidants stabbed her in the back. But she didn't budge. She stood, a rock, amidst the storm of lies that was building and raging around her. He admired her for the strength she held within her that he knew he would never have.

She felt his presence behind her moments before his strong arms encircled her waist as he pulled her to lean against him instead of the wall. She closed her eyes and let his strength surround her as he kissed the top of her head. Opening her eyes after a moment, she returned to her watch at the window. He looked with her, watching as the flames flared up against the dark sky. The sound of alarms and sirens did not seem as loud anymore.

The sirens and alarms seemed insignificant. The flames leaping from the Palace seemed insignificant. When compared to what they had almost lost, everything seemed insignificant. When compared to what they could still loose, it was all insignificant.

He turned her in his arms and held her close as sobs began ripping through her. She cried into his chest, letting loose the emotions she had held in check earlier. She felt his right arm travel down and slip underneath her knees, and then she was up in his arms and he cradled her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer to him as they sat on the bed, making a soft indention in the mattress.

The indention that the day had made in their lives was anything but soft. Carefree one minute, and the next a building is coming crashing down on top of you with your friends and family scattered throughout left anything but a soft, small indention in your life. There had been many identions in her life, but this was one of the most significant. This was the third time that she had almost lost everything. She wished she had never gotten into politics; because then she would be safe, her family would be safe.

Once her tears had subsided, he tipped her chin up and wiped her cheeks with his thumb before kissing her red lips lightly. He pulled out the pins that held her bun in place and gently laid them on the nightstand beside the bed, he didn't care that it was his. After she had changed out of her dress and he had seen her safely into bed, he turned out the lights in the hall and changed out of his dress uniform before crawling in bed beside her and wrapping his arms around her.

His presence soothed her aching and wandering mind as it thought of every worst possibility for those who were still in danger. She had been lucky, they had been lucky; but then, they were always lucky. Just lucky enough, fate had apparently designed their lives to be full of near castrophe and heartbreaking worry. His hold tightened for a moment, as if he expected the tears to start falling in earnest again. She briefly closed her eyes and marveled at how strong he could be when she was falling apart. He would hold her and calm her fears, without shedding a single tear himself.

He brushed a kiss on her cheek and then held her closer while they both drifted off to sleep. She fell asleep first, he made sure of that. Her slowed and deep breathing gave him his first indication and the feeling of her body relaxing was the second. She needed sleep; they had a long day ahead of them tomorrow, and today had been long enough. He stayed awake much longer, watching the rise and fall of her side in rhythm with her breathing and listening to the silence that weighed over them like a heavy blanket. He almost wanted it to suffocate him; it would put an end to the pain that had shot him like a bullet. When the Imperial Palace had been hit, he was on security and it had taken him much too long to be rational once the first crack ripped through the building. More lives could have been saved if he had pulled the alarm earlier. But he knew that he shouldn't dwell on it, what's done was done and there was no going back. He took a deep calming breath as he let the tears slip down his cheeks to land in her dark hair in the night, with no one to witness. He couldn't cry in front of Leia, she was distraught enough as it was, he had to be the one to be strong today because she was the one falling apart.

After what felt like hours, he began to drift off, his eyelids getting too heavy for him to hold open. He snuck deeper into the mattress, and readjusted the sheets around himself and Leia. Sighing into her hair softly, he let his eyes seek out the chrono to check the time before allowing them to close. The chrono marked that it had only been thirty minutes when it seemed like hours and that morning seemed like a lifetime ago.

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So, what do you think? There are two more chapters if you want them.


	2. Chapter 2

here's the second chapter...for those of you who wanted the back story...this is it

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"_And together we can__—__" her speech was cut short by a loud crack that echoed through the room._

_One moment, she had been staring into the vast crowds of the New Republic Senate, glistening walls and council boxes, the smell of a freshly plastered, steeled, and painted room permeating her senses. The Imperial Palace had been attacked months ago; thermal detonators had been set off in strategic areas that rendered the building incapable of being used. Today was the first time it had been used since then for Senate meetings, though the offices had been up for use for about a month._

_Though she didn't like it, Han was on security and she had had no place else to take the children, so she had brought them with her. Luke was off gallivanting across the universe, or she would have had him watch them. Her mind was at ease at the moment, the kids were in her East Wing office, with her aide Jeri to watch over them. She was telling herself that no harm would come to them before she had gotten up and walked out to the podium to present her speech._

_But the crack that split through the Senate erased her eased thoughts, terror and panic replacing them within seconds. They waited, on edge, for the second resounding crack to resound through the room that would inform them that thermal detonators had been set off again. Leia held her comm link, cued with Han's number, in a sweaty palm and held her breath, listening for the second crack as well._

_They never had a chance for the second crack. Without warning alarms blared through the room and Senators scattered, leaving their aides and droids behind to clean up their belongings. The second crack followed seconds later, rocking the Senate Hall slightly. The north wall fell in a couple of feet. Leia watched with wide eyes as droids fell over the railings of their council boxes and aides leapt across the widening hole to safety, abandoning their Senator's belongings. She vaguely heard the third crack and some one caught her in the back, forcing her down as one box fell onto the podium walk, inches from where she had been giving her speech. She hit the floor hard and, but immediately looked up to see security running towards her. They pulled her to her feet and helped her to the nearest landing platform, into a speeder that would take her down to the entrance level._

_Time stood still while she made her descent. A thousand thoughts flashed through her head and she palmed the comm link in her hands. Confusion flashed through her mind and she looked down. The comm link was gone. She needed to find Han._

_Han._

_He was probably frantic. She couldn't remember if he knew the kids were here._

_The kids._

_Oh Goddess, please let them be alright._

_They landed and an NRI agent helped her out and handed her another comm link._

"_I need back up__—"_

"_North Side__—"_

"…_East Wing collapse…"_

_East Wing?_

_The Government Council Wing._

_Her office._

_The kids._

_She keyed Han's number into the comm._

"_Kinda busy—" his voice came over the comm. "Hey you! No one goes back in!"_

_Back in? "Han, where are you?"_

"_Leia? Oh thank all the gods of Corellia, I—"_

"_Han! Where are you?"_

"_Running security out front, right by the steps, North entrance. Where are you? Are you okay?"_

"_I'm on my way."_

_Pushing through the overwhelming crowd and shrugging off the hands of NRI agents and security as they tried to hold her back, away from the chaos and the rapidly collapsing building, she made her way to Han and collapsed into his arms. "Hiya sweetheart. Are you okay?" _

_  
His tone was much too serious, not panicked._

"_Han," she said, "the kids."_

"_Are home with Chewie, so we should get back and let them know that we—"_

"_No Han! The kids are in my office."_

"_What?" he deadpanned._

"_They're in my office. East Wing, it collapsed, please Han," she stuttered. He turned and ran into the building, leaving her standing there alone. She looked up briefly and saw the smoke rising from the top, before she locked her gaze on the front doors. Another NRI agent ran up to her and dragged her backwards, safely behind security lines, away from the crumbling building. Her eyes never left the doors, but her ears picked up every word coming from the comm link._

"_East Wing collapsed, all personnel out!"_

"_Can't do anything more…"_

"_North side in flames, we need traffic control!"_

"_Everyone out!"_

"_NO!"_

"_Sir, come with…"_

"_My family is in there." Han._

"_Sir there is nothing more…"_

"_Help me!"_

_Leia struggled against the hold that the NRI agent had on her._

"_Security is still in there."_

"_It's gonna blow!"_

"_Personnel in the East Wing, personnel in the East Wing! We need help!"_

"_Air traffic control, do you copy."_

"_We need search and rescue!"_

"…_East Wing is ruined."_

"_The computers blew, everything is gone."_

_Everything?_

"_All personnel move out, that's an order!"_

"_Would someone help me, I've got injured!"_

_Please no, please no, please no, she prayed._

_More explosions sent sparks high into the sky, showering down on the crowd surrounding the building. She could see flames licking the partially collapsed roof. Dark black smoke poured into the afternoon sky. Her eyes darted back to the front doors as they opened and ten security guards dove out as an explosion sent flames shooting out at them. Her heartbeat increased with her breathing, her legs felt shaky, but she refused to give in. Even when the front of the building blew, sending glass spraying in shards. She watched the flames blazing inside the building. It was taking an awfully long time. The comm link had slipped from her hands, so she couldn't hear what was going on. _

_It was an eternity before she saw any movement inside the building other than the flickering flames. The security captain ran out of the building, his uniform singed and black with ash. He came straight to her, after a bit of craning his head to find her._

"…_Solo is in there. I don't know if he's going to make it out. I don't know why he went back in," he said._

"_I do, my children are in there."_

"_Leia!" she heard a feminine voice call out her name._

"_Mama, Mama!" two little voices cried out with the first._

_She turned slowly and saw her aide, Jeri, carrying her twins and walking towards her. Relief flooded through her and she rushed towards them, taking her children from Jeri. She kissed them both, "Oh, I thought I'd lost you."_

"_We're okay Mama. Where's daddy?"_

_Han._

_Han!_

"_Captain, I need a comm link!" she called. One was deposited in her hands and she frantically called Han._

"_What? I'm not leaving! My kids—"_

"_Are out here with me. Jeri got them out. Han please, get out of there before—" her words were cut off by another explosion, another explosion from the East Wing. Static emanated from the comm. "Han. Han!"_

_They stared at the entrance, violently scanning for any sign of movement amidst the flames. He emerged minutes later, running from the building at top speed. As he reached them, another explosion rocked them all, throwing most to their knees. He ran to hold her and his kids. She could smell the smoke and he was covered in ash. She held him tighter. He bent down and she kissed him quickly._

_Jeri had left by the time they ended their embrace. Leia made a mental note to call her later and make sure that she was okay. Han took Jacen from her and they walked down to their speeder admist the crowd of frantic people. Leia threw one last look at the destroyed building, flames leaking from the roof and windows and entrance and everywhere else there was a hole, before climbing into the speeder beside Han._

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that's the back story, hope you enjoyed it


	3. Chapter 3

This is the last chapter...thanks for supporting this fic. I was worried about it at first.

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Han awoke to the morning light, not alone, but with a tense Leia in his arms. He leaned over her and noticed that she was still asleep, confusion and worry creasing her brow. Shifting his weight so that he was more comfortable, he whispered her name in her ear and kissed her cheek. Then he sighed in frustration, if anything that made her brows knit further. He shook her gently, calling her name softly. He did not want to resort to tickling her this morning, not after yesterday. He prayed that she wouldn't think yesterday was her fault.

This time it most definitely wasn't. But he knew that she would examine it down to nothingness and find some reason that it was her fault, some little thing that she could have done differently. And in reality, it wouldn't have changed a thing. But in her mind it could have. Then she would obsess over it for days, and not eat because she felt so terrible about not doing whatever it was she decided that she did wrong, and then he would have to deal with a sick Leia and right now no one needed that again. They needed their leader to rise again and again. He knew that she knew that they needed that. In her heart, she knew that. But in her head it was a different story, so he needed to get her to mix the two and grieve but still continue her work.

Somehow.

His shaking had intensified, but she just got tenser, so he stopped. He was beginning to think that tickling her may not be such a good idea. So he nuzzled her neck gently and dragged his lips over her skin lightly. But that didn't help either. He was starting to get the feeling that she didn't want to be woken up. But the look on her face was starting to scare him. So he shook her hard and demanded that she wake up. She shook her head a little, from side to side, before opening her eyes slowly and groggily.

He looked at her with questioning eyes as the confused and worrisome look faded away from her face as she realized where she was. She turned onto her back and looked up at him, laying her palm on the side of his face. He smiled and turned his head to kiss her hand. She ran her hand up into his hair and pulled him down to kiss him. He didn't let it go on as long as he knew she wanted. But he had to coax her out of bed somehow, or else she would stay there all day.

She gave him an evil glare as he rolled out of bed and went into the 'fresher, taking his clothes with him. She gasped in mock exasperation at the fact that he wouldn't even change in front of her today. Glaring evilly at the closed door, she tossed the sheets off of herself and shrugged into her robe. Settling down at her vanity, she began combing out all of the tangles that had twined themselves in her hair. While she did so, she noticed the dark lines that trailed down her face, some smudged, from when she had cried with Han last night. _Yesterday_. She tried to shrug the memory out of her mind.

She knew he had been crying last night. She felt one of his tears hitting her cheek and had woken up briefly. But she knew to let him have his time alone, because that is all that he would allow himself. She had drifted back to sleep while he let out his emotions, knowing full well that if he wanted her to be apart of it, he would tell her or ask her. Just as she was with him, there were times when she was best left alone to pour out her emotions on her own. Other times, she wanted him there. Most times, she wanted him there.

When he came out of the 'fresher she was finishing up with her hair. He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders, crouching down to be at eye level with her in the mirror.

"I'm sorry," he said.

She smiled, sadly; but she did smile and lifted her left hand to rest on his.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that again. But it's not your fault. Do you hear me? It's not your fault," he said gently.

"I know. Don't worry, I'll be fine," she said sincerely. He smiled. "So will you kiss me now?"

"Maybe," he smacked his lopsided grin onto his face. "Depends, are you going to climb back into bed?"

"After I just combed out my hair, are you serious?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Then she added, "At least not alone."

"Well, this space pirate isn't getting back in bed, so, I guess you'll be staying out as well?" he asked.

"Possibly," she threw back.

"Then you don't get a kiss until you come out for breakfast," he shrugged, walking towards the bedroom door. He knew after yesterday that being nicer to her was probably a mandate, but he also knew that she had to get back into a normal routine as soon as possible before the complete ramifications hit her, or she would shut down again. If anything, their children didn't need that.

She turned and stared expectantly after him, but he didn't look back. He opened the door and walked right out. Her jaw dropped a little. She stared at the door a moment longer, waiting to see if he would come back in. But then she heard the distinct sound of a pan crashing to the floor from the kitchen and decided that he was serious. She twisted her hair up and clipped it in place before following him into the kitchen.

She stood by the pantry and waited for him to notice her. He was busily mixing who-knew-what together and adding it to what she thought was batter. She watched him, rather confused as to what exactly he was trying to make. Rolling her eyes at the possibility that he could be "creating" something again, she walked out to the living room and sat on the couch, picking up a holoalbum and flipping through it, cringing when he yelped from the kitchen. Guessing that he had burned himself, she set the album down and went back to the kitchen.

Trying hard to contain her laughter, she raised a hand to her mouth and bit her lip. He was standing with the top cabinet unit opened, with a bag of sugar pouring onto his head, and there were also three eggs that accompanied the sugar. He picked up the eggs and threw them in the sink, and grabbed a towel to wipe the rest of the goop off of his head. He pushed the bag of sugar back into an upright position and shut the cabinet door. Turning to glare at her, he frowned visibly before looking down at whatever he had been cooking. She walked over to him and picked up the pan, dumping the contents into the garbage and putting the pan into the sink, on top of the eggs.

She reached up and tousled his hair, brushing the sugar out of it. She stared at him with bright eyes that said "okay I'm up, where's my kiss" and he leaned down and kissed her full on the mouth. She opened her mouth to him at once and felt him take over the territory she allowed him. Her hands came together behind his head, crushing him to her. She ended up being the one who broke away first for air.

"I needed that," she informed him.

"I discovered," he said smugly. He brought their lips together again. Their twins came in the kitchen, sleepy eyed and yawning. Something in Leia's subconscious told her that they were being watched and she broke away again. She turned and smiled sympathetically at her kids.

"Daddy woke us up, he made too much noise," they said. "It was scary, we thought it was happening again."

Leia gave Han a concerned glance before kneeling down before them and giving them a hug. "It's not going to happen again, not here. Okay?"

"Okay," they both agreed.

Their son added, "But daddy still made too much noise."

"I know," Leia kissed both of them on the forehead before looking pointedly at Han. "Daddy woke mommy up by making too much noise too."

"Daddy, that's not nice," their little girl said. "You be nice to mommy."

"I'm so sorry pumpkin, I'll try to do better," Han said. Leia laughed lightly and hugged her family together.

Together.

How they were supposed to be.

How they almost ended up not being.

How she intended to keep it.

Han watched her as she got the kids ready for breakfast and marveled again at the strength she held within her. _And she thinks she needs me_.

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Thanks again! Constructive feedback is always welcome!


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